I like to take on the moniker ‘nostradamus‘, albeit mostly in my spare time . But on a more serious note, I will assume that at some time or the other in our lives we have all felt that sense of ‘premonition’, ‘foreboding’, or just simply, a ‘feeling‘ that something is going to happen. Of course, the easy way out will be to suggest a selective reasoning process whereby the ‘right predictions‘ are listed as proof of some kind of foresight whilst false outcomes are ignored, swept under the carpet and forgotten.

Recently, I feel I have been getting more than my fair share of these ‘premonitions’. Regarding the ongoing European Football Championships, I have actually called several results down to a tee, the Swedish win over Greece; Zlatan Ibrahimovich as first scorer and the scoreline, Kuyt to score first against France, Torres to score first against Sweden, Nistelrooy to score first against Italy, Pavyluchenko first against Sweden, the list goes on and on. Ok, all this can be classed as informed guesswork, a lucky streak etc. The trip I’m actually on here is the effect our actions (or inaction) have on the future. Logically this doesn’t make too much sense I agree; obviously the things we do now affect the future, or do they? As individuals, separated by time and space from various events around us, do our decisions (even, our thoughts…) affect future outcomes in those events?

As usual I quote lyrics to illustrate my ramblings , this is from Nas’s ‘Nostradamus album: “the future is nothing but a series of probabilities/made up of decisions that we make right now/these decisions lead to certain events into the future/but every human being has this capability/to determine their own future/some are just more in tune than others…/”

Again; basic logic it can be argued, nothing exciting here. The kicker here is this; if ‘no man is an island unto himself‘ and we are ‘all a part of the whole’, then do our individual decisions not change the future all?

Done! My ‘royal ramble’ for the month

Caveat Emptor lat: ‘let the buyer beware’.

This is for anybody who’s interested in sharing my view of general services providers in the UK, ‘though I’m specifically referring to H3G based on my personal experiences with them.

When I see advertisements in London, I laugh. Cynical laughter. Promising service, reliability, ‘a better product’ than the next competitor, based on a survey which has returned a 99% approval figure! A study of the fine print (literally named because it’s normally very tiny and situated in a corner) reveals that the so-called survey is an opinion poll from some anonymous happy current customers. Hah! I maintain, a lot of these activities would surely fall under the criminal code ‘419′ back in my country.

My submission; the H3G mobile broadband service is cr*p, sh*t and absolutely fraudulent. My first month with them produced a broadband package of 3gb of data to be used over 33 days (incredible, but true!), their billing system somehow can calculate a month as 33 days, they also somehow managed to sneak in an extra data usage of 170mb, calculated at a convenient cost of 10p per mb.

This is London; the ‘rip-off capital of the world, or the city that hosts the biggest ‘rip-off’ companies in the world. I call it the way I see it. Nuff said.

From yesterdays news round-up column in theLondonPaper:

Cop Baton Death Claim

A police suspect died in mysterious circumstances hours after being hit by batons while being arrested, an inquest heard today. Oyinloye Awogboro, 23, of Surrey Quays, died in hospital on Sunday night just 12 hours after he was arrested for driving through two red lights in north London. Coroners added that officers “deployed” batons and CS gas when they caught him after a short chase on foot. After falling ill at Islington police station, Awogboro was taken to University College Hospital, where he died. The hearing was adjourned until 8 July.

You know, I have to ask two questions; 1. is there a Nigerian Ambassador in the UK? 2. how come we keep on hearing of Nigerians in London being killed through police action (albeit in small newspaper columns) while youths in this place kill people with knives, bats and such weapons then get let off with a talking to?

This is London… 

Customer service; is this term a myth? Does it really exist? It’s definitely debatable if I examine my experiences here in the ‘rip-off’ capital of the world, the wonderful city of London. A place where sharks, remora, vampires, leeches, piranha, fungi, tumours and all sorts of unsightly parasitic and symbiotic spectres float around every instant of every waking moment (and in dreams sometimes!), looking for innocent (well, some are anyway…) souls to devour.

Proposing all sorts of ‘business’ (in my country a lot of these business deals/contracts would be listed under ‘section 419’ of the criminal code). Finding ever resourceful ways to tie you into bloodsucking contracts; mobile phone deals, broadband deals, mortgages, ‘easy’ interest ‘long term’ loans are amongst their favourite schemes of entrapment.And the fabled wall of defence these parasites hide behind? “Customer Services”,  an army of well trained robots schooled in the art of linguistic delivery of industry clichés like ‘mission statements’, ‘fair deals’, ‘looking into and resolving your complaints shortly’ etc. As soon as you discover the veritable plethora of ‘hidden charges’ and ‘disclaimers of any misquoted contract terms’ (normally hidden in small print), the robot army steps in to block you from launching an assault on these bloodsucking vampires.

 I’m currently embroiled in a bitter argument with mobile broadband provider ‘Hutchison 3G’ over misrepresentation of contract terms, a dispute over ‘appropriate’ data tracking software and an issue of what I perceive as an attempt to extort money from a customer (me) by underhand means. Of course I have been blocked by the robot army at all turns so far (I think I’ve spent approx two - three hours talking to ‘customer services’ so far on the phone).

Ok, let me attempt to at least look at the option that these ‘Customer Service’ people get so many ‘crank calls’ daily that they sometimes lose patience and rather than examine each customer complaint on its individual merit, decide to group everybody into the ‘freeloader’ category. My answer to this; the customer is the lifeblood of any business. If you cannot take the time to discover and resolve customer complaints then there is no reason for you to be in business. At the end of the day, my question remains; why these underhand methods of stonewalling?

As a consumer of goods and services I am perfectly willing to take responsibility for my choices; all I ask is for those choices to be stated clearly and legibly.  

The ‘Chess Room’ has now been declared officially open. It will be dedicated to my tournament winning performances (I actually have a very big head, literally… ) and also some critical analysis (watch out for this…) of my two all time favourite openings for Black; the Alekhines defence and the Benko/Volga gambit. (Kamchatka, actually…).

So, back to the arena. Like I said in ’round 1′, I’ll try and examine possible strategies employed in the games of Chess and Poker.

Chess: a sound knowledge of the general principles of Chess is essential before the start of any game. Once started, the most widely accepted strategy is to fight for control of the ‘center’ of the board as this central control will provide a springboard for dominance in the opening skirmishes and possibly lay a foundation for eventual victory. The recurrent theme from round 1 remains; knowledge/preparation is essential for victory in Chess, “you either know it or you don’t”.

Poker: the start of the game is characterized by a bluff/confidence strategy. Once the ‘hole cards’ are dealt, there is an initial round of betting. This betting (in a no limit game) can be used to ‘bluff’ or take a chance on the upcoming three cards (the flop). Again, the luck of the draw dominates, a player who is dealt a pair of Aces (for example) at the start is already miles ahead of the opposition (unless the other person has a similar hand?, but the opponent’s hand is unknown). After the ‘flop’ is dealt there is another round of betting and so on and so forth. The recurrent theme here is one of ‘unknown variables‘ and a constant ‘probability/luck factor‘.

So, for a simple comparison here, what would be the factors that might influence a ‘winning streak/stretch’ in either of these games? Would ’strategy’ have a significant influence on possible victory?

For Chess; I will assume that a winning stretch will be dependent on ‘preparation’, ’study of Chess techniques/tactics’, ‘fitness levels’ (yes!) and so on. The element of ‘luck’ will play an infinitesimal/microscopic part in sustained victory at Chess.

As for Poker; the ever present spectre of ‘the luck of the draw’ renders any meaningful discussions on ‘comparable skill levels’ irrelevant. If your bluff is called, you remain only as good as your ‘hole cards’ + the cards that are dealt (flop + turn + river). Yes, by having more chips than your opponent there is a psychological advantage in that a bluff can be given extra impetus by throwing in a large bet (to imply confidence in your hand) but; like I said earlier, on the long run, it all depends on the ‘unknown’, the luck/probability factor. So I would say a winning streak in Poker will depend on how lucky you are. Fin.

This now brings up the other interesting question: what is the cross influence of these two games? Can experience at Chess make for a better Poker player, and vice-versa?

Okay, for the first round of the faceoff, I’ll simply try and establish the basic rules/patterns of play for these two games. For the purpose of this, I assume two player participation in a standard Poker game (Hold ‘em, Texas style).

Chess: Two players on opposite sides of a game board. The board is a 64 squared check pattern with alternate light and dark squares. Each side starts with 16 Chess pieces, all of which have standard predefined moves. The aim is to achieve victory by utilizing your army of pieces to either capture your opponents most valuable piece (the King) or to force your opponent to submit (resign) in the face of inevitable (demonstrable) defeat.

Poker: Two players on opposite sides of a table. An independent dealer of cards as the intermediary. The dealer deals two cards each (face down to avoid the other seeing the cards) to the two adversaries and the standoff begins. Basically, if the game reaches it’s conclusion/judging point, the dealer would have dealt five extra cards (open/face up) in the center of the table in a series of three moves called; ‘the flop’ (three cards face up), ‘the turn’ (one card) and ‘the river’ (final card). At the end of the day, the player who can match his initial two cards (hole cards) with the open five cards to make the best hand (of a possible predetermined winning combinations of ‘poker hands’) eg; ‘three of a kind’, ‘full house’, ’straight flush’ etc, wins.

Now this is a simplistic overview of the two games but the immediate contrast point I’d like to point out is the ‘luck factor’. In Poker, you are only as good as the cards you are dealt (in the final analysis) whilst in Chess, there is nothing hidden. You either know it or you don’t.

I guess the next step is to examine the various strategies involved in these two games and see if we can find any similarities and differences to compare.

In Rd 2.

Ok, it’s time to step into the ring once again. I must warn, this battle is going to be a brutal, no-holds barred event. I shall take on all those irrelevant and aimless games/sports/activities/whatever out there, comparing them with the No. 1 (Chess) and I’ll prove that there is absolutely no contest at all.

Nota Bien: these views are from my perspective and as such, I will wield the ‘infinity’ tool in order to end any discussions/debate/feedback I deem as irrelevant. Bottom line for gamers out there; “if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen”.

Poker is being picked as the starting point because, for the life of me, I cannot imagine why an ‘almost totally dependent’ on ‘luck of the draw’ game is getting so much international coverage in the media and is even being touted as a ‘thinking man’s game’! What bulls**t. If Poker, Sudoku, Crosswords etc etc are ‘thinking man’s games’, then what is Chess? An activity for ‘higher lifeforms’?

The faceoff starts now. Stay tuned.

the 26th South Herts Chess Congress 

All Africa Games; Abuja 2003

I remember back in my university days, there was a running joke within some of us guys. The idea was; people that tended to talk and behave in ‘cryptic’ manners were referred to as ‘Banana Men’. My understanding of the joke was that the shape of a regular ‘banana’ was likened to a ‘boomerang’. The ‘banana’ then represented a manner of speech or behaviour that was roundabout in nature – I guess a proper English word to describe this would be ‘rhetoric’?

The key point here is that we lived in an environment where things were generally taken literally/as-is, in effect, when somebody said something or behaved in a particular way it meant something and a definite meaning could be read into most things. So we had a few people who would employ this ‘curved speech’ in order to ‘get away with things’, anything from general mischief to subtle coercion and persuasion. The great Banana Man!

Ok, so what’s all this about? Well, some years on from those nostalgic university days (the memories are more than a million pages could possibly contain), I suddenly find myself confronted by a veritable array of Banana Men!

It seems the concept of people existing in different ‘worlds’ is never more clearly highlighted than in the differences of views/ideas/morals etc across borders. The new society in which I find myself is one in which the accepted standard of speech and behaviour is totally ‘rhetoric’ or ‘banana-like’! Rather than a clear set of meanings and definitions, every little thing seems to be highly subjective and open to various interpretations. There was an earlier post in which I asked the ‘standard’ question in this ‘world’; “what’s your opinion”? Apparently, this is a question that always has to be studied carefully. Indeed the best answer seems to be to return the question and ask; “what’s your opinion”?

So from my perspective, just about every other person I run into daily seems to be ‘yet another Banana Man’! Ah well, I need to brush up my ‘boomerang throwing skillz…’