I remember the conversation from several years ago, when I was still learning about the subtle intricacies of Chess; a young female Chess trainee asked a friend of mine:

“these Chess moves you’ve taught us, Pawn and Knight captures are called ‘forks’; do Bishops ‘fork’ also“?

to which he replied:

“well, I don’t think they (Bishops) ‘fork’; aren’t they supposed to be ‘holy men’…”?

Oh, and the one from the Turin Olympiad about the guy who was so confident about the ‘power’ of his central ‘Pawn thrusts’ that he started to sing: (to the tune of ‘the whisper song’ by the Ying Yang twins) “wait ’til you see my D… pawn/wait ’til you see my D…Pawn/…”

Chess, isn’t it a wonderful game?

Two Chess players are doing a postmortem analysis of a game from the previous round in some event. Player 1 won a very difficult game against Player X (a female player) and Player 2 is asking how the position was won.

Player 2: you know, that was an incredibly difficult position, very tight.

Player 1: ah well…, I had to use all my experience in maneuvering round the board.

Player 2: please tell me; how were you able to penetrate her position?

Player 1: wasn’t easy, I tell you. After some preliminary thrusts and feints I eventually had to circumvent and enter from the rear.

Player 2: hmm…, sounds exciting. Must try out your techniques sometime.

Player 1: experience is the key my boy, It’s not easy to be a Master.

Drums roll. The stage lights up. There is palpable tension generated by the heightened sense of expectation in the air. What will the first glimpse of the greatest show on earth look like?

Ok, the greatest show in the Chess world maybe, but hey, who’s complaining?

It’s here! The ‘Chess Kama Sutra’.

Imagine the intense graphical, metaphorical and hypersensory impact of this omnibus!

Bringing to life, the hidden world of Chess. A world of exotic moves and manoeuvers!; Bishop skewers and pins!, emphatic and strange mating positions! (including helpmates and selfmates), the dreaded Knight forks!, major piece batteries! (Alekhine’s gun ), Pawn thrusts! and many more memorable moves.

Checkmates from all Continents!; mates with ancient Oriental techniques!, Australian boomerang methods! (hmm…, reversal styles? ), European aplomb!, American vigor!, African strength! (reportedly, African players have the largest Chess pieces. hmm…, a mate from an African Chess player may be an earth shattering event!! )

Ladies and Gentlemen, the show is open. Please note; this is rated (18). “There will be blood”.